Choices, Loyalty, & Love (Men of NatEx #3): A Package Handlers Novel Read online

  Which one will win? I honestly can’t tell. The energy of it is nearly too much, and as that stupid bell on the door rings, I’ve never been more thankful for it. Now, I don’t have be alone with her anymore. I don’t have to face these feelings head on and perhaps do something about them after far too long. I can stop suffocating from her presence and take a deep breath to clear my head.

  Until I turn to see who came in the door and find the one person who makes me as angry as she does.

  Mason. My brother.

  Chapter 4

  Nic

  I take several steps back once Mason has entered the shop. Not because I shouldn’t be that close to Aidan—that had nothing to do with it, really. It’s more because this is no longer my moment. It’s not a moment I’m sharing with Aidan alone anymore. His brother, who he hasn’t seen since he left, now needs this space, so I’ve given it to him.

  It’s written all over Aidan’s face how he feels about this: well-hidden shock, irritation, surprise, and a subtle happiness. I’ve always been able to read Aidan like a book—except for when his feelings for me are involved. When that’s the question, his answers are carefully guarded. And I get why, but I was never brave enough to even attempt a guess when I could have been soul-crushingly wrong. And when it would have been met with my father’s thorough disapproval.

  Mason’s the first to speak. “Little brother,” he says as he approaches Aidan. “It’s been way too long, man.”

  All Aidan does is nod. But then he accepts the hug Mason’s offering. It’s the most awkward hug I’ve seen in a long time, but it soon becomes the most emotional.

  I know how much Mason has missed his brother. But I also know how much Aidan has resented Mason. I know why Aidan left when no one else does. It hasn’t been my secret to tell, so I’ve kept quiet. But I can sense both brothers’ emotions. The turmoil they’ve both felt throughout the years and what this reunion means to each of them. Maybe they’re successfully hiding it from each other, but they’re not hiding it from me.

  “I wasn’t sure when I’d see you on this trip, but I’m glad it’s early.” Mason pulls away and stuffs his hands into his pockets. “You have time for dinner?” he asks, gesturing with a twist of his shoulders to the door. “It’s a little early, but I’ve been in meetings all day and could use a meal, especially if we get to talk.”

  After a sly glance at me, Aidan says, “Sure. Why not?”

  I dip my head, doing everything I can to hold a hard swallow back. This isn’t going to be hard to get through or anything.

  Just before we’re all out the door, Amelia and Jeremy come through to door to the kitchen.

  “Where’s Matt?” Jeremy asks Aidan. “I thought we were gonna get the scoop on—”

  “Actually,” Aidan loudly says over him, “my brother and I are going to dinner. Matt took Dani home, so maybe we’ll get together tomorrow.”

  Jeremy doesn’t miss the hint. But Amelia looks confused, her brows drawn down.

  “What are you doing, Veronica?” she asks, using my preferred name now that I asked her to. “Do you need a ride somewhere?”

  Smiling and appreciating her kindness, I shake my head. “No, but thanks. I’m going with them.” But then I recall their words and feel unsure. “Right?” I ask Mason.

  “Of course, babe.” After approaching me, he snakes an arm around my waist. “It wouldn’t be a family reunion without you.”

  He’s not intentionally hurting Aidan. He’s doing everything he can to keep me in his grip. But I can feel the wound he just gave him nonetheless—as the wound he inflicted upon me throbs too. I have to physically make myself stay where I am and not recoil from his over-the-top gesture.

  That’s not to hurt Aidan, either, but nothing Mason or I can do right now won’t hurt him. And I hate being in these shoes.

  Figuratively and literally.

  It doesn’t help that Jeremy clearly doesn’t approve of Mason’s arm around me, either. But there’s nothing I can do about that right now, so I focus on what I can control. And that’s my own actions. So I scoot away from Mason to head toward Amelia to say goodbye.

  With my arms wide open, I say, “Thank you so much for letting me stay here and help out all day.”

  “Not a problem at all. Thank you. More help around here is always welcome,” she tells me as we embrace. Then she pulls away. “Now that you have my number, just call any time you need something to do this week. One of us”—she motions around the room with a finger and smiles—“will be able to come get you, I’m sure.”

  “Thank y—” I start to say, but my phone rings again. When I pull my cell out of my bag, I see the same number from earlier. My stomach twists with worry, but answering the phone now just can’t happen in front of all of these people. So I hit the ignore button and drop my phone back into my purse. “Thanks,” I absently mutter as I turn around.

  I give her one last smile and Jeremy a small finger-wave. He pretty much ignored me all day, and I can’t say I blame him. Aidan would probably have a fit if I told Jeremy his business, and god only knows if what Aidan has said about me has been pleasant at all. I can only imagine. In all fairness, Jeremy looks exhausted and had a busy day, so maybe it was more that than anything. Working two jobs can’t be fun.

  I wouldn’t know, but I can imagine that, too.

  The bell over the door rings as Aidan walks out. Seeing him snaps me out of my thoughts of that phone call and Jeremy. I give Mason a look to ask what’s going on, but he just waves me to him. So I peek over my shoulder and say goodbye again to my new friends. Then I step out into the summer evening sun with Mason.

  “We’re going to follow him,” he tells me as he points to Aidan, who’s at his car. Then he opens the passenger’s door to our rental so I can get in.

  “Thanks.” I duck my head and get inside the car.

  Once he’s in the driver’s side, we buckle up and fall in line behind Aidan. I wonder where we’re going, but I’m sure Aidan didn’t tell Mason and I don’t feel like starting a conversation, so I stay quiet. But Mason doesn’t.

  “Does Aidan seem weird to you?” he asks, his right hand coming to rest on my knee. Not in a sexual or possessive way. Just as a reminder of what we’re still trying to do here.

  I shrug one shoulder, pretending not to care. “We haven’t seen him in years, so I’m sure he’s a little shocked we’re in town. I bet that’s it.”

  He turns the car right at the next light. “Yeah, maybe. It just feels like more than that.” Tapping his thumb against my jeans, he says, “I still don’t know why he really left. That excuse about Dad seems a little flimsy. Always has.”

  I lick my lips to stay quiet. Of course I know why he left. Of course I’ve been keeping Aidan’s secret. With him in the car in front of us, it feels like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. Somehow, I need to make it through dinner and then I can go back to avoiding the topic. Hopefully Mason won’t want more than one meal with his brother. Or, if he does, he won’t mind if I skip out on future visits. My heart can take only so much rejection, and my nose can be rubbed in it only so many times before I break.

  When I don’t answer him, he glances at me. “Right? He wouldn’t leave us behind because of that, would he?” His grip on the steering wheel tightens. “I mean, he did, but I don’t think that’s why.”

  “Maybe asking him the first time you’ve seen him in six years isn’t a great idea, you know?” I ask, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. “Just focus on getting to know your brother again. I’m sure that would mean a lot to him.”

  Actually, I’m not sure of that, but I’ll say just about anything to make sure Mason doesn’t grill his brother on why he up and left everything he knew. Not that I think Aidan will spill the truth, especially with me there. Aidan’s the kind of man who’d die on his own sword before he hurt me. So the reason he left is the exact reason I’m sure Mason won’t find out the truth. Not tonight, anyway.

  But eventually it’s go
ing to come out. And it won’t be pretty.

  I just hope I’m not there when everything comes crashing down between the two of them.

  “You’re probably right,” Mason finally relents. After a big sigh, he says, “You always are.” Then he pats my knee as we pull into the parking lot of a dinner restaurant.

  I give him my usual pacifying smile. I think part of him knows it’s not genuine, but the part of him holding on to us with dear life won’t allow him to point that out.

  I put my hand on the door handle, but his fingers give my leg a little squeeze, so I turn to him.

  “You know I love you, right? And I’m glad you came with me on this trip?” The truth shining from his eyes is difficult to look at. He means every word, and every word digs a little deeper at my heart. “You know I couldn’t do this—reunite with Aidan—without you.” Then he takes my free hand and brings it up to his mouth for a small kiss.

  My heart stutters as I think about how he wouldn’t even have to reunite with his brother if it weren’t for me. He wouldn’t have lost all of this time with his family if we hadn’t met. I can’t tell him that though, so that pacifying smile gets a little bigger as I try to reassure him that, yes, I know he loves me. I know he’s glad I’m here.

  And I’m relieved for a split second as he gets out of the car. This is the calm before the storm. Because this is the only moment I’ll have as I try to stomach dinner with the two most important men in my life: the one I love and the one I wish I could.

  ***

  Aidan

  I have no idea what to expect from this dinner, but I have every idea of what to expect from myself: intensity, feeling withdrawn, being defensive. Which means I need to chill the hell out. Nic’s the one who does that to me, not my brother. Though his being part of their relationship is enough to contribute to those feelings. But he doesn’t know that. And that’s my own damn fault.

  I hold the door for them, allowing them to go in first so I can torture myself some more by watching them together. His hand stays firmly around her waist in a gesture of ownership. Not that Nic could ever be owned. That’s just not who he is. But I can’t blame my brother for trying.

  Though, if I’m not mistaken, Nic looks uncomfortable. Like she’d rather my brother’s hand not be on her hip. And I wonder what exactly that means, if anything. If that’s for my benefit because she knows how I felt about her or if that’s just how she feels.

  It’s probably just my imagination, so I let it go. I’m seeing what I want to see—not what’s really there.

  “Three tonight?” the hostess asks as we approach her.

  My brother confirms, and then we’re led to table near the back. I pick my seat, and Nic chooses to sit on the other side, kitty corner from me so Mason’s right across from me. I take note of that, but it seems my brother thinks nothing of it. After our drink orders are taken, the three of us are alone at the table, surrounded by a couple of other families who prefer to eat dinner this early.

  Mason takes a deep breath and lets it out in a rush as he picks the menu up. “So, how have you been?”

  With my gaze on my own menu, I reply absently. “Good. You?”

  He’s quiet for too long, so I raise my head and then an eyebrow.

  “That’s all I get?” he asks. “Six years have gone by and I get, ‘Good. You?’” He’s smiling, clearly waiting for more than that.

  So is Nic, I notice, who finally lifts her menu with both hands. She covers her face with it, probably not wanting to look as interested as she really is. But it gives me a moment to notice something I couldn’t bring myself to check for before.

  Her left hand is bare, and there’s no tan line where a ring might have been.

  I can’t even allow myself to think about what that means. Are they actually not married after all this time? Mason wasn’t smart enough to put a ring on her hand and make her his? If that’s the case, I want to both smack him and kiss him for being such a fucking moron.

  But maybe she left it at home. Or perhaps she doesn’t wear it that much. I slyly slide my gaze to his hand and see he’s not wearing one, either. They could be one of those new-age couples who decided not to do the whole ring thing. Which would also make my brother a fucking moron. If I were with Nic, the whole damn world would know loud and clear because my ring would be on her finger and I’d proudly wear one too—no doubt about it.

  But I’m not. He is, which is clear as day as he slips his arm around the back of her chair and waits for me to answer.

  “I guess,” I tell him, setting my menu down and trying not to grit my teeth. “I’m just working and building a life here. That’s all.”

  Our drinks arrive before Mason can reply, and then the waiter takes our orders. That means he needs to take his arm back from behind Nic’s chair, which seems to bring relief to both me and Nic. I’m starting to think I’m not seeing things that aren’t there anymore. Maybe there’s more going on here.

  Once the waiter is gone, I decide to take command of this conversation so it doesn’t go anywhere I don’t want it to go.

  “How’s Mom?” I ask as I fold my arms on the table.

  Mason grins. “Good, actually. It took a while for her to get there, but she’s working again and keeping busy with her club. Right, Veronica?”

  We both look at her, and this time, she can’t hide behind her menu. Her cheeks start to turn pink, and a part of me can’t help but wish I get to see them do that a whole lot more. This shade of crimson looks damn good on her.

  So good that I have to look away before I get myself in trouble. “Knitting club with my mom, huh?”

  “Mhm,” she confirms. “For a few months now.”

  “And yoga, and tennis, and kickboxing,” Mason continues, showing obvious pride in all the things his woman does. “They’re both in the best shape of their lives with all the stuff they do.”

  I thought that crimson color would deepen, but instead, Nic starts to turn pale. Mason doesn’t notice, but I do. And I wonder why she’d dislike the mention of how fit she is.

  “That’s funny,” I say, flicking my gaze to my brother so I don’t keep thinking about Nic’s level of fitness and what her body must look like under her clothes now. Not that I knew before, but I can only imagine now. “Mom didn’t mention doing those things with you guys. Just that she was doing them.”

  “Oh, you talked to her?” His eyebrows draw together. “She didn’t tell me that.”

  “I’ve talked to her every Thursday night like clockwork since I left,” I inform him.

  The crease in his brow deepens. “Why didn’t I know that? She hasn’t told me anything about you.”

  “Did you ask her?” I gesture a hand at him.

  At that, his eyebrows bounce back to neutral. “No, I guess not.” Then he hits me with his gaze. “I assumed you’d come back, you know.” He puts that arm behind Nic again, this time landing his hand on her shoulder and softly caressing her skin with his fingers. “Get whatever it was out of your system, come back, find a girl…” His gaze slides to Nic as he squeezes her to him in a loving gesture. “You know. Live the dream.”

  I inhale deeply, digesting his words. But, sooner than I can reply, Nic’s phone rings and breaks the conversation up. Which is a good thing. Because the truth was on the tip of my tongue, even though I wouldn’t have let it slip. It’s still there, punching me in the gut with every move he makes.

  He is living my dream. Without her, my life is more like a nightmare.

  She pulls her phone from her purse, and a worried expression covers her face. “I’m going to answer this. Excuse me.” She rises from her seat and takes off toward the front of the restaurant, her back to me.

  And I watch Mason as he watches his woman walk away.

  If there’s one thing for sure in this life, it’s that my brother loves Nic with everything he has. And he looks like a man who knows how damn lucky he is. Because everything about Nic is incredible—except for the way she is when she�
�s with him. But asking directly and hearing the answers would be like putting the final nails in the coffin even though I’ve already been buried alive.

  My brother’s a goner for that woman, and I’d just be the asshole who took that away from him if I told Nic how I feel again.

  “Seriously, Aidan,” Mason says. “Are you okay? Do you just not want to tell me in front of Veronica? What’s going on?”

  I narrow my eyes at him. “Why would you think that?”

  He shrugs like it’s no big deal, but it is because he said something. “I don’t know. It’s like there’s a wall up and you don’t want to talk about your life here, but I hope it’s not worse than whatever you actually ran away from back home.”

  “I didn’t run away,” I deny immediately, leaning back in my chair and shaking my head.

  “You did. And it wasn’t from Dad’s death like you said it was. There’s more to it,” he insists. “You can tell me what it is.”

  I let out a measured, steady breath to keep my thoughts under control. “Why are you asking now? It’s been years, so what does it matter now?”

  He looks around behind me like he’s keeping an eye out for Nic. “Family just feels more important now than ever, I guess. It’s not like I haven’t missed you this whole time, but I feel like business brought me here now for a reason, and I’m glad to see my little brother.” When he doesn’t find her, he aims his gaze at me again. “And I want to make sure you’re okay. You wouldn’t have left Mom behind unless it was something serious.”

  Everything about this conversation makes me want to run. I don’t like getting personal, especially not with the man who’s with the woman I love—no matter that he’s my brother. The people I’ve chosen to have in my life don’t even know the whole story, so I’m not going to confess to my brother that I was a fucking mess because I apparently wasn’t what Nic wanted, so I had to bail so I didn’t have to see them build their life together. I didn’t have it in me then, and I still don’t feel ready to have it thrown in my face now.