Desires, Sweets, Secrets (Men of NatEx #2): A Package Handlers Novel Read online

After that, we find no need for air. We’re consumed by the need to touch, grind, and thrust, burning alive from the fire of our heat together. We’re skin and sweat. We’re one thin layer of latex and her breasts pressed against my chest. We’re lust and greed and sex and love. That’s all. Or maybe that last one’s just me. But, soon enough, she confirms that it’s not.

  On a sigh of pleasure while I drive into her and squeeze her fingers with my hand intertwined with hers, she exhales between pants, “I love you too.”

  Her words make me freeze. I hover above her, my cock hardening to steel inside her. And I stare deep into her eyes, searching for the truth within them. In the end, I believe her, which is all I need. A few thrusts later, we’re both riding high on our releases, grunting and moaning through our pleasure.

  She clamps down on me as I flex inside her, hoping to draw this out as much as possible. In fact, when we’re both coming down, sweaty and sated, I stay within her body, not willing to pull myself from her just yet. And she doesn’t seem to mind. She threads her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck, rubbing her nose against mine.

  After several deep breaths as she tries to catch hers, she whispers, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that right then, but I couldn’t wait another minute.” She rubs my nose with hers again and then says, “I couldn’t waste another second without telling you. You have to know that, no matter what…” She trails off, searching through my gaze. “I love you, Jeremy.”

  With her fingers in my hair, her nose against mine, her words on my heart, and her breath on my lips, I kiss her. I don’t trust my words just yet, so I kiss her to show her how much I love that. How much I love her. No matter what, that’ll be true.

  I just hope that whatever she has to tell me doesn’t fucking ruin me.

  Chapter 15

  Amelia

  I don’t ever want to leave the comfort of this bed, with Jeremy in it. But it’s time to get everything out in the open, leave no more secrets between us. I can sense his dread, his unease, but mine’s just as strong. Because, though I think he can see past what I have to say, I’m not sure I’ll like whatever his secret from five years ago is. Which is why I had to tell him in the moment that I love him. Because I do. And I always will, just like I do with Danny.

  But I don’t want to have to love him and not be with him. I don’t want to have to love him and work so closely with his sister, who seems to hate me right now. I don’t want to have to love him and live next door to him when I can’t have him—the torture of that would be extraordinary.

  So, in the safety of this bed, I decide to rip the Band-Aid off. It’s now or never, and never doesn’t sit well with me. I’ll explain myself and give him a chance to clear the air on his side. And then we’ll see how it goes from there.

  With my head on the pillow, I gently guide Jeremy out of me, away from me, to his side of my bed. I can’t have him inside me while I talk about Danny. That just doesn’t seem right. And then I turn to my side to face him and lace my fingers through his while I spill my truth.

  “I was married. Technically until two days ago,” I explain, tears already starting to build in my eyes at the memory of giving the doctor the affirmative to take Danny off life support. I rush to keep going when Jeremy’s fingers try to slide from mine. “But it’s not what you think.” I take a deep breath and close my eyes to find the strength to tell this story for hopefully the last time. “My husband and I were out with a bunch of friends one night about three years ago. But I got tired, so I took a cab home with a couple of the girls. Danny though…” I squeeze my lids tighter, the memories rattling through me and wrecking my heart. “Danny drove home later when he shouldn’t have been driving and got into an accident. Ran off the road and a guardrail.”

  Jeremy’s fingers squeeze mine, and his free hand cradles my face.

  I press my cheek against his palm to find some more strength. “At the hospital, he was in a coma. After a month, they were worried he’d never get out of it, but we remained hopeful. A month turned into two, which turned into six and then a full year.” I take a shuddering breath before continuing. “Hope turned into denial, which turned into the other four stages of grief. I finally managed to reach the last one for multiple reasons. I decided to visit him on Friday, and when I got there, they told me that they’ve been trying to get ahold of me.”

  He furrows his brow, and then his face smooths out. “Oh, is that who’s been calling? And why you closed up the bakery?” Once I’ve nodded, he says, “No wonder you didn’t tell me.”

  “I’m sorry. It was just…” I struggle to find the right words. “It was too much, I guess. Too much all at once, when I wasn’t sure how things were going.”

  “With him or with me?” he asks, brushing my cheek with his knuckles.

  “Um,” I start, but then I remember: This is my truth. Just be honest. “Both, really.”

  He nods. “And now?”

  “Now…” I blink a few times before staring him in the eye. “Now, things are much clearer.” Then I squeeze his hand as I clear my throat and look away. “I hadn’t been able to make the decision before, but it was clear he was never coming back. So, Friday, I, uh…” I trail off, unable to put this to words for a moment. But, when I try again, nothing comes out. I press my lips together, hoping a moment

  Jeremy seems to catch on, pulling me to him and pressing my face into his neck. As he smooths a hand over my hair in a supportive, calming way, he says, “Oh, Meli. I’m so sorry.”

  With that, I lose all pretense of trying to be strong and let the tears flow. I haven’t really had a moment to process what happened, and I’ve been rather numb. I even went to work and acted like nothing had happened. Talked with Danielle about her problems like nothing was going on with me. But, clearly, something is, and even though I’m drowning in sorrow, I’m glad I’m drowning while in Jeremy’s arms. He’ll keep me afloat and help me find the strength to fight through the pain.

  Which makes me wonder if this was Danny’s plan all along. Maybe he waited to take his downturn until I had found someone to fall apart with. Until I’d found a safe place to land when I chose to end his life. That thought knocks a piece of my heart back into place and I feel a section of it heal back together. Maybe Danny was looking out for me and things will be okay after all.

  But there’s still the matter of his truth to work through now that he knows mine.

  Once I’ve run out of tears, I pull back from his neck so I can take a deep, cleansing breath. I tremble as I exhale, but I feel a whole lot better now that I’ve gotten that off my chest. It’ll still be painful for a while, and I’ll have a lot to work through in the days, weeks, and months to come. But I feel way more confident that I can get through it now.

  He kisses my forehead and readjusts his arms around me so we’re both comfortable in this position again. “You’re right,” he says. “That wasn’t so bad. And I shouldn’t have judged so quickly and gotten so upset. But—”

  “I don’t blame you,” I inform him so he doesn’t have to justify his behavior. No one wants to hear that their new girlfriend—or whatever I am to him—is married, so I get it. “But I do think it’s a good idea for you to explain whatever your sister was talking about today. What happened five years ago?”

  His bare chest expands as his lungs fill with a deep pull of air. He bites the inside of his cheek, clearly not wanting to discuss this. But this is why we’re here. It’s time to come clean.

  So he does. “Long story short, I let an older woman seduce me,” he admits, not looking at me.

  When I say, “Well, that doesn’t sound as bad as Danielle made it sound,” his gaze shoots to mine.

  “Ahh.” Slowly, he nods. “Now, I understand why you don’t call her Dani like we do.”

  “Right,” I tell him. “Now, you know.” But it’s now my turn to put a hand on his cheek and help guide him to his truth. “But you’re not changing the subject. Tell me what really happened.”


  He smiles a little and rolls his eyes, but then he settles back into the discussion. “What really happened,” he says, getting serious again, “was that I was seventeen and thought I was in love. I thought she loved me too. But that was ridiculous—I can see that now that I look back at it. Because…” After a deep breath, he reveals his true source of regret. “Not only was she Dani’s best friend’s mother, but she was married too.”

  I suck air in through my teeth. Nope. I wasn’t prepared for that. But I do my best not to let it show on my face, and I don’t take my hand away from his face. He doesn’t let me anyway, because he presses it to his cheek and slides it to his mouth to kiss my palm as his eyes close. I let him and enjoy the warmth there, the way my body always feels when his lips are on me.

  Then I drag my hand down to his neck. “Then what happened?” I encourage.

  “Her husband caught us, told my parents, and nearly got me expelled.” To his credit, he doesn’t look away from me. He holds my gaze as he explains his past. “The whole school found out, which means Dani’s school found out too. She was only eleven at the time, but she became public enemy number one among her classmates. Other mothers didn’t want her hanging out with their kids”—he brushes hair away from my face—“and kids at school would bully her. It was terrible, and I felt awful about it.”

  “So what did you do?” I ask.

  He swallows hard, his hand falling away from my face. “I dropped out, got my GED, and applied to every out-of-state college I could.”

  “And your sister said you just graduated,” I say, taking his hand in mine, “so you must have gotten in somewhere.”

  Nodding, he says, “Yeah. Graduated in May with a degree in business.”

  “That’s amazing. Congratulations.” I squeeze his hand for emphasis and grin at him, but when his cautious expression doesn’t change, I wait for more.

  “Like Dani said, I spent that time working my ass off and doing nothing but studying and working. I didn’t even make a friend the entire time I was there.” His chest pushes against mine as he breathes in, and I hitch a leg over his waist to bring him closer to me. “Which means I didn’t fall into bed with anyone, either.”

  “No one?” I ask, scrunching my face. Though I shouldn’t be shocked. Now, his appearing rusty the first time we slept together makes sense now.

  “Not even a kiss,” he clarifies. “I was determined not to be fooled again and make the same mistake.” He finally drops his gaze from mine. “And, well, here we are.”

  “I didn’t dupe you, Jeremy. I didn’t trick you or make a fool of you,” I insist, trailing my fingers up his arm. As I slip my hand around to the back of his neck, I say, “It doesn’t matter to me that that happened to you. Nothing is going to happen to Danielle’s job, and if anything, she’ll have another female in her life, especially when—” But I cut myself off from saying more.

  “She told me,” he says, tracing a line up my side with his fingers. “And I hope she’s telling our brother right now.”

  My throat works as I swallow hard. “She’s brave. She can handle it.”

  “Yeah, she is. Though I can’t help but feel partly responsible,” he admits, not looking at me.

  So I use my hand to tip his chin up so he’ll look at me. “Hey. Why would you think that?”

  He huffs out a breath. “Because maybe she wouldn’t have felt the need to sleep around if I had been a better role model for her.”

  “Wait a second.” I pin him with my gaze. “You can’t possibly know that she was just sleeping around—or that it was your fault. You can’t blame yourself for her actions.”

  “Just like you can’t blame yourself for what happened to your husband, right?” he responds gently.

  I take my hand away from his face. “Touché,” I say in a sad tone.

  Then he puts a finger under my chin. “We can work through it together, right?”

  I search his gaze and find hope shining in his eyes. He means it. He wants it. And, god, I do too.

  “As long as you don’t mind that I’m an older woman,” I say.

  A sly, sexy smirk tips one side of his mouth up. “Just how much older are we talking?”

  I swat at his shoulder, laughing lightly. Then I tell him the truth. My truth. “My thirtieth birthday is in a couple of months.”

  “Mmm,” he moans, raising and lowering his eyebrows. “I can work with that.” His hand tightens on my hip, tickling me.

  So I dissolve into giggles as I squeal out, “Can you even go to a bar?” between gasping breaths.

  “I’m happy to report I turned twenty-two three months ago.”

  Though I expected young, I honestly didn’t expect quite that young. The math makes sense though. That’s end-of-college age. But it’s fine. He’s responsible, smart, and good with my niece. Plus, he’s more than easy on the eyes. What more could I possibly ask for?

  “Don’t make me plead my case,” he says before leaning forward and burying his face in my neck. As he kisses his way down to my breasts, he presses my front to his, his erection becoming harder by the second. “I can be very persuasive.”

  Oh, I know just how persuasive he can be. I’ve experienced it a few times. But that’s not what this is about—no matter how much I’d give for it to be okay to give in to him right now.

  “Hey.” I pull back from him while smiling. “Before we go there,” I say slowly, implying that we’ll get to that in a second, “are we okay? Have we cleared up all the lies? Do you have any questions?”

  He looks thoughtful for a moment. Then he speaks. “Are you going to need some help with planning a funeral or anything? Is there anything I can do to help you through what happened?”

  My heart melts a little more for him. With my hand on his cheek again, I brush my lips against his as I say, “All I need is you by my side.” Then I kiss him. “But no to the funeral. I’m all he had left, and I have been working so much the past few years to make sure he had enough money for his care. But, well…”

  “Whatever you need to do, Meli. Okay?”

  I nod. “Thank you.”

  “And,” he says, narrowing his eyes, “it’s okay that I call you that, right? I haven’t been able to stop since you introduced yourself that way, but then you asked me not to… Was it because of him?”

  “Yeah,” I tell him, “but it’s okay. It sounds a little different when you say it, and I like when you call me that.”

  “Good.” Then it’s his turn to kiss my lips before he says, “And speaking of introductions, do you think you can reintroduce me to your grandma?”

  That has me breaking out into laughter. “She’s looking forward to that, though she may forever call you Chocolate Chip Muffin, just so you know.”

  As if on cue, his stomach rumbles. “Oh man. I could totally go for some of those.”

  “Well, luckily for you, I have some in my car. They may have melted a little, but I’m sure they’re fine.”

  The expression in his eyes makes him look conflicted. Does he go to the car and get the muffins? Or does he stay in bed with me and get what he was after just a minute ago? I’m even thinking that he’s wondering if he can somehow do both. But, in the end, he settles on one of his choices, and it’s the one I hope he always chooses. Forever. Always. No matter what.

  Me.

  ∞∞∞

  Jeremy

  Of course I choose her. And no, it’s not because we have to get out of bed and go back to dinner soon. I’ll grab the muffins out of her car when we go, but not a moment earlier. Because, now that the truth is out there and we’ve both been honest, I don’t want to waste a second without her in my arms.

  I squeeze her to me. “Thank you.”

  “For what?” she asks.

  I breathe in her scent, nuzzling her neck. “For being honest. For hearing me out.” Then I kiss the top of her head. “For being you.”

  She snuggles in deeper before leaning back to look at me. “Think we should go ba
ck to your house now? Everyone’s probably waiting.”

  After a long sigh, I nod. “Yeah, probably. I should make sure Dani isn’t dead.”

  At that, she completely pulls away. “Why would she be dead?”

  “I’m not sure Matt’s going to take her news very well.” I reluctantly get out of bed and find my clothes where we left them by the closet. “He’s not as protective of her as I am, but still. And hey.”

  She pauses as she pulls her panties back on. “What?”

  “I can’t believe she told you first,” I tell her as I slip my shirt over my head. After buttoning my pants, I raise an eyebrow at her.

  “I’m a woman,” she offers as she shrugs. “And she knows she can trust me.” But then a worried expression settles over her features. “At least she thought she could.”

  “Hey,” I say softly, taking her into my arms. “She will again. We’ll make sure she knows she can. Okay?”

  Her beautiful eyes sparkle with concern as she gazes up at me and nods. “She was just so mad at me. That expression on her face…” She lets out a big breath. “I didn’t mean to disappoint her so much.”

  “It’ll be fine,” I assure her, pulling her in toward my chest. I kiss her hair and trail my fingers down her bare arms. “Everything will be okay.”

  Meli looks like she’s still not sure, but she nods again before she finishes getting dressed. A couple of minutes later, we’re out the door. I make a pit stop at her car for the muffins—because I can’t help myself when it comes to her baking—and then open my front door for her.

  The first person I see is Aidan. I don’t recall seeing him when I was here earlier, but in my hazy fog of irate anger, I wasn’t seeing straight anyway. So I take a chance and say, “Hey, you made it!” to him as Meli closes the front door.

  “It looks like you made it,” he says. Then his gaze slides to Meli before flicking back to me. “All good?”

  I can’t help the smile that stretches all across my face. “More than good, man.”