Desires, Sweets, Secrets (Men of NatEx #2): A Package Handlers Novel Page 13

  “That’s okay,” I tell him, resituating my head on the pillow. “Not everyone figures that out early on in life.”

  “I guess,” he sighs. Then he takes a moment before continuing. “But whatever. It pays the bills, which is nice. My grandpa already paid the house off, so I don’t have to worry about that, but with my sister here this summer, I have to deal with it for now.”

  “Are you trying to find another job?”

  His arm rises as he shrugs. “I probably should. I keep telling my brother that that’s my plan, to find a job more in align with my degree, but…” He trails off, his fingers going back to tracing lines up and down my arm. “For now, I’m fine.” Then he brushes my hair away from my face.

  When I look up, his gaze is on me. For a few moments, we watch each other, and then I put my head back on his lap, smiling uncontrollably. Part of me wanted to fight how much I like being with him, but I can’t fight it anymore. He was amazing with Aria all night, allowing me to finish the special order for my customer with only a few hiccups. I was so frustrated with my sister for dropping my niece on my lap when I already had so much to do, but he stepped up and helped me when he didn’t have to.

  “Thanks for everything today,” I tell him. “I really didn’t know what I was going to do when Cass showed up with Aria.”

  He doesn’t respond right away, so I peek up at him. When I meet his gaze, he gives me a sad smile. “That’s okay.”

  Sitting up, I say, “No. No, it’s not.” I tuck hair behind my ear. “I totally ruined what was supposed to be our first date.”

  “I mean,” he laughs, “your sister kinda ruined it.”

  I want to laugh with him, but I can’t seem to find the humor in that. I’d already done enough before she dropped my niece off. “If I hadn’t taken that customer’s last-minute order, we could have at least spent the time together while watching her though. I don’t have ‘no’ in my vocabulary, so I said I’d do it even though we were supposed to go out.”

  The next time he chuckles, the humor is only barely there. “You seem to say no to me just fine.”

  I cock an eyebrow at him. “Not all the time,” I clarify. Then I rush to add, “And you’re here right now, aren’t you?”

  He bites the inside of his cheek. “For how long though, Meli?”

  That name stings, tugs on my heart, but not for the same reasons it used to. No, it’s not because it’s what Danny used to call it. It’s now because I love hearing it fall from his lips. It sounds so right, so comfortable, when he says it. It sounds like I want to hear it for the rest of my life.

  “Come here,” he says, putting his hand under my arm and helping me scoot toward him. He presses his lips to my hair. “Can we just take this one day at a time? Do we have to put so much pressure on it? If that’ll help you give us a chance, then I’m willing to do that.” With a finger on my chin, he tips my head toward him. “As long as you do that only with me.”

  It’s tough, but I manage to swallow the lump in my throat. Before I can turn away, he closes the space between us and kisses my lips. It’s the sweetest brush of his lips on mine, just enough to bring Aria’s question back into my mind. Jeremy really is the only one I want to do that with, but that realization comes with several required actions that need to follow. And I don’t know where to begin.

  So I do the wrong thing and agree before I’m ready. I nod instead of opening my mouth and speaking the truth. Because it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. And I want this so badly that I can taste it. That my bones rattle with it. I want normal again. I want out of limbo. Being with Jeremy can give me that.

  He kisses me again, short and sweet, and then I rest my head on his shoulder. Exhaustion from the day’s events weighs heavily on me, so I’m not surprised when my eyelids start to droop. And I can do nothing to fight it. His arms tighten around me, and that’s the last thing I remember when my eyes shoot open thanks to the knock on my door.

  It takes a few moments for reality to set back in, but then I remember that my niece is asleep in my spare room, so Cass is here to get her. I don’t know what time it is, though that doesn’t matter. This whole night went so off plan, so the time is rather irrelevant. What isn’t, though, is that I’m still in Jeremy’s arms when the second knock comes, and it takes effort to leave them, even though I have to.

  Both Cass and Derek walk into my house when I open the door to him. I give proper introductions to Derek and Jeremy, who shake hands cordially. Then Derek goes to the spare room to get their daughter.

  “I hope she wasn’t a grade-A terror for you guys,” Cass says, worry shining in her eyes.

  Jeremy dismisses that idea. “Psh. She was great.”

  Cass lifts one eyebrow. “I don’t believe that for a second. Are we talking about the same little girl? Because no one in their right mind has ever said that about my daughter.”

  “She helped me bake a little,” I tell her, “but mostly kept to herself as she played with her toys. Then, when we brought her back, she was already asleep. No big deal.”

  That eyebrow rises a bit higher. “That’s not what you were saying earlier,” my sister reminds me.

  I unintentionally glance at Jeremy before I catch myself. “I know.” Then a smile I can’t help tips my lips at the corners. “But it turned out to be fine.”

  Cass looks back and forth between the two of us, crossing her arms over her chest. I have no idea what to say, but Jeremy just grins, lifts his hands in a surrender motion, and then goes back to the couch. Then Derek returns, a sleeping Aria curled up against his chest.

  “Bye, Jeremy,” Cass whispers so she doesn’t wake her daughter up.

  He twists around and waves to my sister. “Nice to meet you, Derek,” he quietly tells my brother-in-law, who waves to Jeremy as he leaves my house.

  I hold the door open for the two of them and step outside, closing the door behind me. “Drive safe, you guys.”

  “We will,” my sister answers, but before she gets too far, she faces me again. Her whole demeanor is more than enough to know what she’s about to say. “It’s none of my business, but…”

  “I know, okay?” I straighten my spine, folding my arms over my chest. “Believe me, I know.”

  Cass tilts her head and purses her lips as Derek gets Aria situated in their car. She puts her hands in the pockets of her dress. “You have to tell him, Amelia. This can’t continue like this unless he knows the truth, and it’s going to gut him if it doesn’t come from you.”

  I narrow my eyes at her. “Is that some sort of threat?”

  Her brow wrinkles as she backs up a step. “No, of course not. I would never.” Then she shakes her head. “I just don’t want this to backfire in your face if he finds out some other way. So tell him before this goes too far. I have a feeling he might understand, but he won’t if you don’t give him the truth.”

  After a deep exhale, I nod and kick some pebbles on my porch. “I will,” I promise. But I don’t tell her that I don’t know how long it might take. Or how the hell I’ll manage to do it in the first place. No potential boyfriend wants to hear that the woman they’re dating is in my situation. But if Cass thinks he might understand… Maybe he will.

  I won’t know until I tell him, but in the process, I might lose the one thing I actually want.

  Chapter 11

  Amelia

  Once Cass and Derek have pulled out of my driveway, I open the door and find Jeremy getting his shoes on. I don’t know when he took them off, but I don’t want him putting them back on, either.

  “I should probably go back home so Dani doesn’t see me here in the morning,” he says, tying his laces on his left shoe.

  “You assumed I was going to let you stay the night on our first date?” I tease, sitting next to him.

  He grins at me, his melted-chocolate eyes shining. “You assumed this was actually a date?”

  I can’t help but chuckle at that. “Touché.” Then I put a hand on his
knee. “Does that mean I get a raincheck?”

  “Woman,” he starts, covering my hand and intertwining our fingers, “you can have all the rainchecks your heart desires.” When he leans in to kiss me, his lips are light and warm as they brush against mine.

  “Can I cash one in right now?” I whisper against his lips.

  He pulls back slightly to look me in the eye. “Like that?” he asks, starting to take his shoes back off before I can answer.

  A laugh slips through my lips. “Hold your horses.” I rest my hand on his arm to get his attention. “Would you be mad if all I wanted to do is sleep?”

  He freezes, one shoe most of the way off his foot. “You assumed I would”—he shields his mouth and lowers his voice like little ears might hear him—“have sex with you on our first date?”

  Without missing a beat, I throw his own words back at him. “You assumed this was actually a date?” Then I hold a hand out to him.

  For a moment, he does nothing but stare at me, a prideful gleam in his eyes. All at once, my body lights up for him, appreciating his gaze on me. The way he looks at me makes me feel special, like I’m the only one he looks at like that. Like I’m the only one he wants to look at like that. Like I’m the only woman he ever sees.

  When he takes my hand, saying, “Touché,” around a chuckle, I give him a tired but happy smile. Then I lead him toward my bed before falling into it and snuggling up next to him.

  It’s not until I wake up to yet another knock on my door, while again in Jeremy’s arms, though this time in my bed, that I realize I’ve been looked at like that before. By one other man. A man who’ll never look at me like that again, which I’ve come to terms with. It took me a long time to come to terms with moving on from him, but knowing that Jeremy sees me the same way he did makes me believe that Danny might have approved of this.

  That comfort washes over me, gives me the biggest sense of hope I’ve allowed myself to feel in years. But it’s that same comfort that gets smashed to hell when the voice on the other side of my front door bursts the hope bubble.

  “Amelia?” Danielle shouts as Jeremy and I approach the door in various states of undress.

  Both of us freeze. My heart surges into my throat as my pulse spikes. Adrenaline rushes through me, and Jeremy glances between me and the door, his eyes wider than I’ve ever seen them. We stay right where we are, unsure of what to do—until the decision is made for us.

  The front door swings open when Danielle tests the knob, and as soon as her gaze lands on her brother, her jaw falls to the floor. At the same time, tears spring to her eyes and hurt casts a sad shadow over her features.

  “What the hell, Jeremy? Again?” she cries, one tear spilling down her cheek. “You’re doing this to me again?”

  “Wait, Dani, it’s not what you think,” he says, reaching for his sister as I wonder what she means by again.

  But, before I can ask, she jerks away from him like she thought his touch might burn her. “Stay away from me.” Her hands ball into fists. “I can’t believe you’d do this. She’s my boss, Jeremy. And I asked you not to.”

  “I know,” he says, “but—”

  “No!” she shouts. “No buts! This is bullshit and you know it.”

  “Danielle,” I start, hoping I can inject some understanding into this conversation, “please, your brother is right. It’s—”

  “My name is Dani,” she spits at me, frustration pouring out of her. “Why can’t you call me that like everyone else does?”

  Her question shouldn’t hurt, and it doesn’t hurt nearly as badly as it would have if she’d asked me when I met her. Still, the answer sticks in my throat, leaving my tongue dry and heavy.

  “I, well… I,” I stutter, stumbling over the words. Until I finally settle on, “It’s a long story.”

  “Oh, am I not adult enough to hear it?” she fires back at me, throwing her arms out to her sides. “I can help you run the bakery but you can’t tell me something simple like why you won’t call me Dani? Or why you’re sleeping with my brother when I specifically asked him to leave you alone?”

  “I didn’t say that,” I start before having to swallow the lump in my throat. “Not at all. It’s just not as simple as you think it is, but that’s not your fault.”

  “Well, if anyone bothered to tell me anything ever, we wouldn’t be having this conversation!” She pins her brother with her gaze. “It wasn’t enough for you to ruin my life five years ago, was it?”

  Sooner than I can help myself, I ask him, “What happened five years ago?”

  But he doesn’t answer me. Instead, he tells Danielle, “Let’s go home and talk about this.”

  “Oh, you don’t know?” she says to me.

  “Dani,” Jeremy warns, his no-nonsense tone deep. “You and I will talk about this. I will tell Meli all about—”

  She thrusts an arm in my direction. “Oh, she’s Meli to you?” Her mouth puckers like saying my nickname is akin to sucking on a lemon. “You’ve given each other cute nicknames now?”

  “Yes!” Jeremy yells. “Because this isn’t some stupid high school fling!” Then he, too, throws his arm to his side, gesturing to me. “I love her!”

  At that, the room goes deathly silent. Danielle flicks her gaze between Jeremy and me, but I settle mine on him. Whereas he’s focused solely on his sister after that declaration. After a few tense moments, he finally looks at me. And what I see there is genuine care and a bit of sorrow.

  “I mean… I don’t… I didn’t…” He takes a breath and then exhales it in a rush. “That’s not how I wanted to tell you,” he finally admits.

  All I can do is shake my head. Because, now, like my sister warned, it’s too late. He can’t love me when he doesn’t know the truth, can he? Or am I more afraid that he does and he’ll stop once he finds out? Though it sounds like we both have secrets. Because what happened five years ago? I don’t know, and I don’t have time to think about it.

  Danielle interrupts this whole scene and says, “Consider this me calling into work sick today.” Then she dashes out the door to go back home.

  That leaves Jeremy dumbfounded. He starts to follow her, but he pauses to gaze back at me, wondering what to do. The conflicted vibe fills the room, so I put him at ease and make the decision for him.

  “Go to your sister,” I tell him, shooing him out the door. “And tell her that her job is safe when she’s ready to come back.”

  He doesn’t say anything. There’s no thank-you or a repeat of his confession. There’s no peck on the cheek or full kiss on the lips. Instead, he gives me a look that says it all: I’m sorry. I’ll fix this. Just give me some time and it’ll be okay. Then he goes after his sister, like he should.

  Whereas I should do what I do best: go to work and throw myself into my business. Anything to avoid the confounding mix of emotions pummeling my poor heart. But I don’t. Instead, I do something I haven’t done since I took the bakery over from my grandma.

  I close the doors for business and take a much-needed day off. Too bad it won’t be for anything good.

  ∞∞∞

  Jeremy

  “Dani!” I yell once I’ve shut the front door. I don’t know where she went, though I assume she’s in her room. “Dani, let’s talk about this. Can I please explain?” I have to shout through her closed bedroom door.

  “Go away!” she cries.

  But, when I try the knob, I find the door unlocked. So I peek inside and find her on her bed. “Dani, please. I meant what I said.”

  At least I think I did. I hadn’t really named it until then. I’d thought about it, sure. But the words came tumbling out of my mouth before I could stop them, ringing true in my heart. I like who I am with Meli, and I like how she makes me feel, even if it seems like we can’t get on the same page. I know that, when we do, everything will be fine.

  Though I now realize I need to be straight with her about my past. I skirted around it. And she clearly has things she needs to admit
to me. But we’ll get there. One day at a time. Right now, I need to get past this hurdle and fix things with my sister.

  “Don’t,” she insists as I walk in. “I don’t care.”

  “That’s not true,” I try to tell her, but she won’t hear it.

  Over her shoulder, she spits, “Don’t tell me how I feel, Jeremy. I’m allowed to be mad at you for this. Because, yet again, you’re screwing things up for me.”

  I stay where I am for a moment, between her door and her bed. She’s right—I shouldn’t tell her how to feel. But, at the same time, I haven’t screwed anything up. And, if she’d listen, she’d know that. Meli would never take anything out on her, and I’m not with Meli because of her body. Or because she seduced me. It’s so different than what happened before, and I need Dani to know that.

  “Can I at least tell you the facts from my end?” I ask her, my tone gentle. I may not deserve how angry she is at me, but I do understand the anger.

  After a sniffle, she relents. “Fine.”

  “Okay.” I take a couple of steps and reach her bed before sitting on it and folding my hands in my lap. With my back to hers, I start to tell her the truth. “I ran into Meli, quite literally, the day she brought those muffins over and gave you a job. There was instant attraction, but that’s not because I’m some manwhore who sleeps with everything that walks like you seem to think I am. Maybe it’s too much information, but I want you to know that I haven’t been with anyone besides Meli since what happened five years ago.”

  “You don’t have to date to sleep around,” she grumbles, tucking her blanket up to her chin.

  I hang my head, wishing she’d stop thinking the worst of me. “I did nothing, Dani,” I clarify. “I didn’t date, sleep with, or even kiss a woman. Nothing.”

  I wait for her snide response, for her to find some kind of loophole in my admission. Instead, I find silence for a several seconds. Then the sound of her quiet voice hits my ears.

  “Nothing?” she asks in a whisper.