The CEO's Baby (Thirsty Thursday Book 2) Page 11

  It’s almost two in the morning. I should be trying to get some sleep. Or, rather, I should be trying to get some answers. Instead, I’m watching the woman in my bed sleep peacefully from the chair in the corner of the room. She deserves it, more than earned it after the night she’s allegedly had.

  It’s not like I don’t believe Chaz. I saw the look in Lyra’s eyes and the protective way she held her stomach. And I clearly remember that time we had sex without a condom in her shower. But, to keep my mind from sprinting right down the we’re-getting-married-and-I’m-moving-her-shit-in-tonight hill, I won’t even go there until I get confirmation from her. Only then will I decide we’re getting married ASAP and she’s moving in.

  That’s kind of a lie. I’d do that right this minute—baby or no baby.

  Oh my god, a baby. I could be a dad soon. Holy shit.

  Nope. Gotta shut that shit down. Not until I talk to her. And who knows how long she’ll sleep, so who knows how long that’ll be.

  I slip my shoes and my pants off, crawl under the covers, and settle next to her. I even dare to put my arm around her middle and hold her stomach, and the response I get is favorable. She snuggles deeper into the bed, which presses her closer to me, and her hand covers mine. So I link our fingers together and shut my eyes. Then I sleep too. The best I’ve slept since the last time she spent the night here.

  ~~~

  When I wake up, light is streaming through my windows. I’m in the same position I was when I fell asleep, but my angel isn’t here anymore. I almost start to panic, but then I smell coffee. So I hope she’s just downstairs in the kitchen

  On my way out of my room, I think about grabbing my pants and putting them back on, but I decide against it. My house. My woman. My baby. I don’t need pants for this shit. I just need her. Plus, that means I can get down there faster. Be with her sooner. I’ve waited almost two months for this moment. Though I wasn’t ready to make my move yet, I can’t thank my lucky stars hard enough that they brought her back sooner.

  After rounding the corner to the kitchen, I find Lyra staring down into a mug of piping-hot coffee. She doesn’t look up when I stop next to her. Or when I say, “Good morning.” I give her a few moments to collect herself because she appears lost. Just gawking at her coffee…

  “Everything okay?” I ultimately ask.

  That seems to jolt her back to reality, but she doesn’t take her gaze off her coffee. She does speak though—with a sad lilt in her tone.

  “I don’t think I’m supposed to drink this anymore.”

  “What?” I squint at her. “Why not?”

  Finally, she lifts her eyes and aims them at me. “Because it’s true,” she says so quietly that I almost miss it.

  Oh, but I heard. So I reach an arm around her to pull her back to my front, intent on making a moment of this. Of soaking the news in by being close to her. But that’s not what she wants.

  She pushes me away, steps back, facing away from me, and throws her arms out to her sides. “We’re not doing this, Blake.” Now, she swings back toward me. “This”—she waves a finger between the two of us—“isn’t a thing now because a baby’s involved. I’m still who I am and you’re still who you are.”

  “We haven’t spoken in almost two months. You have no idea what I’ve done in that time, and it’s not exactly like we were getting to know each other before all of this,” I explain. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to. Or that I won’t step up for you and the baby.”

  “I’m not asking you to,” she says sternly. Then she looks away and her voice gets softer. “I wasn’t even sure I was going to tell you.”

  That stings. Worse than I thought it would—all because it’s her. Anyone else and I’d be running for the hills. Well, no. I’d be there, but not like I want to be there for Lyra. Be there with Lyra.

  “I’m glad I found out,” I say. “I’d like to think you’d have eventually told me.”

  A moment passes where neither of us says anything. I stare at her while she crosses her arms over her chest and finds a spot on the floor extremely interesting.

  After a deep inhale, I start with, “Angel,” but then she hits me with a hard glare.

  “Don’t call me that,” she demands, her gaze cold.

  I raise an eyebrow. “Why not?”

  “Because I’m no angel!” she shouts. “If anything, I’m a damn fallen angel.” She starts to sniffle now, and tears pool in her eyes. “I fell for your bullshit and then I fell to your level. I thought breaking up with Roger was rock bottom, but I’ve finally fallen all the way down.” A loud sob escapes her throat.

  I spring over to her, wrap my arms around her, and hold her tight. She tries to pull away, but I squeeze tighter. If she wants to get it out by hitting me, I’m no stranger to that. I usually like it, in fact. Today though? This? Not a fan. But, if it gets her through to the other side of this with us, then I’ll cherish the memory just as much as the others.

  “Hey,” I say, soothing her with a hand on her back once she’s settled down. “No matter what,” I tell her down by her ear, “you’re my angel. Fallen or not, you’re mine.”

  With her hands on my chest, she pushes away enough to look me in the eyes. “What if I don’t want to be yours?”

  Her words cut deep. My eyelids slowly fall closed, but I take the time to gather a thoughtful response instead of the one poised on my tongue.

  “If that’s really what you want after you give me a chance to say my piece, then I’ll let you go. But you have to let me tell you the truth about everything that’s happened since we met. Deal?”

  She hasn’t left my embrace yet. And a hint of a smile hides itself on her lips. So I take that and her, “Okay,” as a good omen. A very, very good one.

  Chapter 14

  Lyra

  Please let me like what I’m about to hear. Because I was really falling for this man, and we’re now gonna have a baby together… It’d be great if I don’t have to do it alone. And if I could be happy in love at the same time. Please let me like what I’m about to hear…

  At the kitchen table, I sit and take a deep breath. A cleansing one to let everything from the past go so we can move on. Because I clearly didn’t move on from him before, but I let the past get in the way. I was too proud to apologize and ask for forgiveness, so I didn’t. Yet, now, we’re in the same room and he wants to talk about us. He even called me his. I’m not sure what that entails, exactly, but I liked the sound of it.

  I do, however, have to keep in mind that a baby is involved now. There’s a bigger level of responsibility here, and I hope he keeps that part out of the equation. I don’t need someone to be with me just because we’re having a baby together. Though I’m scared out of my mind, I’d rather be on my own with the baby than unhappy with him and the baby. Adding a forced relationship to the mix is a recipe for disaster, and I’m in no mood for cooking.

  He clears his throat. “Okay. Where should I begin?”

  “From the beginning?” I suggest.

  Nodding, he says, “I can start there. But you have to just listen, okay?”

  Once I’ve agreed, he launches into his side of the story. And I just listen like he asked me to. Even when I want to interrupt to tell him how ridiculous his “angelic” description of me sounds. Or when I want to stop him because I’m grossed out that he slept with someone else before we almost had sex on his desk. But then he mentions that that is why he pulled away, and I realize maybe things have been different for us from the start. So I’m speechless as I listen to the rest.

  Like when he got my name from Chaz. How he used his detective skill to get my number. The way he felt when he saw me at Chaz and Shiree’s party. How upset he was about what my ex did. That he left after the shower sex because it was so intense and he was scared he’d hurt me just like the last guy.

  “But you’d said that we were ‘just having sex,’” he tells me, “and I was terrified that I was falling in love and you weren’t. I’d ne
ver felt that way about someone, and I didn’t think I could handle it if it wasn’t returned.”

  I want to tell him that it was. That I was only saying that because I thought that’s what he wanted to hear and what I needed to get a better handle on moving on. But he asked me to just listen.

  “So I left like an asshole,” he admits. “I freaked out and bolted. And I couldn’t bring myself to apologize because I’d been thrown into a new job position and didn’t have the time to put in the effort you deserved. I wasn’t the man you needed me to be, so I was going to spend some time becoming that man while getting everything in line for the job.”

  I can’t not speak up now. “But, when I saw you again at the movies and we went back to your house, the condoms were gone. How could you have possibly been—”

  He holds a hand up. “They were gone because I got rid of them. As in threw them out. If you weren’t there, I didn’t need them.”

  That was so not what I was expecting to hear. “Does that mean…” I start, but I choke on the words, emotion forming a lump in my throat.

  He nods, a slight grin tipping his lips up.

  “But…what about the package you made me deliver? The condoms there? And the seed packets?” I eye him earnestly. I so badly want the truth to be good.

  His grin grows wider. “They were for you. For us. It’s no secret I want to sleep with you. All day, every day.” He breaks into a laugh, and I do too—a shy one though. “But I also want to do the things you like. And you want to garden. So I want to garden. And I got seeds we could plant together.”

  I cover my mouth to stop myself from smiling. The truth couldn’t be any better than that.

  “Although, now, we’ll have to wait until next year,” he says, looking up at me with his head bowed.

  “I can wait until next year,” falls out of my mouth before I can think better of it. Then I shoot my hand to my mouth again. “I mean, that was—”

  He reaches across the table and takes my hand away from my mouth, linking our fingers. “Next year is perfect. Before the baby gets here. Or after. Whatever you want to do.” Then he brings our joined hands to his own mouth for a kiss.

  My heart soars and butterflies fill my stomach. And then I break down in tears. All of this is way too much. The baby was hard enough, but now, this?

  “Hey.” He comes over to my side of the table and envelops me in his arms. Squeezing me tight around my shoulders, he says, “What’s wrong? Let’s be honest with each other now.”

  I sniffle to catch my breath. “This isn’t how I pictured this. Us.” I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. “With a baby coming…”

  His laugh in my ear is light and breathy. “Well, me neither. But,” he says, becoming more serious, “if this is what it takes to have you in my arms right now, I’ll take it. I’ve missed you so much.” He kisses my temple.

  With my sweatshirt sleeve, I dab my nose. “I’ve missed you too.” Then I roll my sleeves up. “But we don’t know each other. At least, I know that you don’t know the real me.”

  “You may think that, but I know lots of things.”

  I raise my eyebrow at him.

  He sits in the chair next to me and starts ticking things off on his fingers. “You like to garden.”

  I roll my eyes.

  “You roll your eyes at me a lot,” he laughs, “which I find adorable.”

  I nearly roll them again, but I stop myself just in time and smile instead. “Okay.”

  Blake holds a third finger up. “You like to slap me when you’re turned on but angry about it.”

  “Oh my god!” I exclaim and slap the table.

  “It’s true. You can’t deny it.” He winks at me. “I wouldn’t want you to anyway. It drives me crazy in the best way.”

  My jaw drops, but after a moment, I close it and grin. “Keep going.”

  A fourth finger rises. “You can have four orgasms in one night, though I think we should aim for five at the very least next time.”

  “Come on,” I say, my eyes wide.

  His thumb joins the rest of his fingers. “Your cheeks turn the most amazing shade of pink when you’re embarrassed.” Then he starts to use his other hand as I start to grin again. “Your nose is fucking cute and I don’t care if that upsets you when I say it,” he says, which grows my grin. But then he says, “And you were only protecting yourself when you did to me what I did to you.”

  I gasp a little at that. He’s not totally right, so I shake my head too.

  “Maybe you think you wanted to hurt me back,” he says, “but I don’t even care. It isn’t like I didn’t deserve it. And I’d go through it again every single night if it meant you’d be with me, in my bed. I just want you.” Then he tucks some of my hair behind my ear and looks right at me. “In whichever way you’ll give me.”

  When I met him, I had a plan. Just have sex. That’s all I was supposed to do. Not get my feelings involved—any feelings. Let alone L-word-type feelings. But here we are. With L-word-type feelings and an offer I’ve wanted for three months.

  I don’t know if it’s real or how to trust it though. And it’s not just me I have to worry about anymore.

  ***

  Blake

  The look in her eyes worries me. I can see her pulling back. Shying away. Wondering how in the ever-loving fuck to trust this. And I certainly don’t blame her. Without her, I’m a total mess. Separate, we’re barely making it through life. Together though… Together, we can do anything. Including trusting one another to make this relationship—even though I can’t believe I’m using that word—work out.

  “We’re being honest, remember?” I ask her, cupping her face. “Say whatever you want. Be real with me and tell me how you feel. It’s okay. I promise.” Instinctively, I kiss the tip of her cute nose.

  That melts her worries a little. “I didn’t really think you’d be the nose-kissing type,” she says, smiling a little.

  “Yeah, well, I didn’t think I’d be the relationship type, either.” I give her a dramatic sigh. “But here we are.” Then I wink.

  Her smile turns into a small laugh. “Here we are.” Then she takes a deep breath. “Okay. Being real. Let’s see…” Her gaze goes to the floor as she thinks. But it stays there as she speaks too. “I don’t want to rush into something I can’t fully trust. When we met, you weren’t the guy who was going to commit to me, and that’s why I went for it. I wasn’t lying when I said that we were just having sex, but that’s because that’s how it started between us. That’s all I was looking for so I could work past getting over everything that happened with my ex once and for all. It was Shiree’s advice, actually.”

  I nearly choke on a breath at that news. I have to cough and bang on my chest to get back to normal. “Well, that figures,” I say humorously.

  “I know. Serves you right, huh? Payback’s a bitch.” She smiles back, but it fades. “But it grew into more with you, and I’m the woman who falls too fast and gets hurt. I couldn’t allow that with someone who had a history of being that guy. The one women fall for but who doesn’t stick around. That was exactly the opposite of what I needed in my life.”

  I cup her cheek again. “I get it. I do. I was that guy. But that’s the keyword here: was.”

  She shakes her head, adding seriousness to her voice. “But how do I know that? How can I be convinced that you’re not going to change your mind or realize you thought you could be with one woman but can’t? Especially once I have this baby…”

  “We can take it day by day,” I tell her, resting my left arm on the table and my right hand on my thigh. “Then we’ll both learn to trust—”

  “No. That’s not what I mean.” She rises from her seat and begins to pace. “Did you hear what I just said? Do you remember when I told you about my past? I cannot go through that again, Blake. I won’t.” She stops and looks at me. “I need to know.”

  “And I get that,” I tell her, standing up. “I’m trying to tell you that you’ve chang
ed me. I’m no longer the man I was when we met. He was gone the second we kissed.”

  One eyebrow goes up in a challenge.

  “Okay, mostly.” I grin at her. “But what I’m saying is that you obliterated me. I never saw you coming, and it blindsided me. Broke me up. Then, when I put myself back together into the man I’ve become, it was too late. I’d already lost you. Not for good though.” I shake my head. “Definitely not for good. Because I knew I’d spend as much time as I could to become the man you deserve.”

  I approach her, encircle her waist with my arms, and look her right in the eyes. “And, angel, I’m still not good enough. I’ll still fuck up, piss you off, and do the wrong thing. All of this is so new to me. But there’s no one else I’d rather do it with. No one. And I’m selfish enough to ask for a shot even when I don’t deserve it. Because working toward being that man? You’re worth everything I need to change, sacrifice, and make better to be with you. Whatever it takes, I’ll do it.”

  The tears that built up in her eyes while I was talking spill over. I wipe them with my thumbs and then kiss her cheeks. When I pull back, her eyes are half closed. But then she opens them and I can see hope shining in them. Maybe it makes me an asshole, but I decide to take hold of that hope and run with it while I can.

  “And it’s not about the baby?” she asks, sniffling.

  I shake my head. “It may be why I ran to you last night, but I swear to you I was coming back one way or another.”

  She squints and wrinkles her brow. “Then what were you waiting for?”

  After a deep breath, I explain, “I needed time. Distance from the man I used to be: a man who didn’t deserve someone good like you. I needed to get settled into my job so I wasn’t giving you only part of me. You deserve someone who’ll give you one hundred percent, angel, and I knew that that wasn’t me yet. I’m not even sure it is now, but I’ll damn sure try.”

  That makes her softly chuckle. And then she sighs. “This is crazy, Blake.”